Unforeseen

I held every part of you,

Sure that no detail would go unnoticed,

But I guess I had already memorized you in pieces along the way.

 

Hills and valleys composed of unforeseen tomorrows.  

 

I never wanted this part:

Hitched breathing and lost in the routine of someone new settling into every miniscule crack of my everyday;

I never wanted to be uncertain and resigned.

 

Something real being exchanged for replayed happy moments,

Over and over until days finally stop blending together in blissful harmony.

 

Waking up used to be easier than sleeping,

But now sleeping is a welcomed security blanket,

Like the tee shirt you promised to leave behind.

 

Tomorrow is uncertain because tomorrow does not hold many promises,

And I stopped loving uncertainty when I didn’t have to.

 

Coming home means two different things when home is not me,

 

I know that that probably won’t last forever,

But what if mere friendship becomes our long-lasting crutch?

 

Holding back and holding on to one another because it’s reasonable;

But I won’t always live drained by unfeeling logic.

 

You’ll miss me when the anticipation dies down,

When there is nothing left to take your mind to new places,

When I am the only exciting interruption left.

 

Until then I’m holding hands with distractions,

Toying with ideas of the future,

Replacing days with you with days with me.

 

Reminded that I love being alone,

But being alone with you never felt as lonely as I do,

So please let me fall back into you soon.

 


Alone With Me – Vance Joy

Advertisements

Living

Once woven into mine, these severed hands loved me then and they care for me now

But hands are not houses and houses only become homes if the people inside them bring inanimate things to life

A bedside lamp won’t just be a grey lamp with a white shade but a means of which to swallow every line Atticus Finch will speak past 3 a.m. when I’m feeling lost again

And my bed will no longer be the only place I can rest

I am cared for, I know, but love that was born without wings is a baby bird never taught to fly: jumping from twig walls and willing to die trying, so show him that wings are not evil extremities ready to steal him away

They are tools worthy of pride, capable of taking him anywhere his mind and body push him to go

And let him go there

This is the kind of heartache that camps out in the sun for so long it becomes dull, shriveled into nothing and obsolete

I can’t bring myself to throw it away; it’s become something to look at and remember that it once sustained entire lives

There are days to come when sleep will only appear because I am tired, and Joy will be sitting calmly at the foot of my bed waiting for me to wake up; get some rest and get back out of bed in the morning

Show me that it’s possible and I’ll tell them that I’ve seen it

We can be happy without metal chains slithering around all of our feet

You can love me if You want to, but I am prepared to embrace the entire universe regardless

To look at constellations like blueprints even if they don’t make sense yet; to build something out of the stardust anyway

I will live right here or in a thousand inhospitable places – anything You can imagine – and never hesitate to call it a home

Our home, full of life


 

Hopeless Wanderer – Mumford & Sons