“It’s Hard to Listen When You Preach”

I wrote an entirely different post prior to this one that was supposed to be inspirational or encouraging or something along those lines, but it felt wrong to be handing out advice that I don’t yet follow…because most things are much easier said than done.

I made valid points that I stand behind, but they shouldn’t be my points to make if I can’t listen to them myself. I’m obviously not perfect, I have a lot of lessons yet to learn and sometimes I’m hesitant to learning them. I’m human. Maybe a little too human sometimes. I’ve always just shared my thoughts and experiences while offering a listening ear. I’m not here to be disingenuous, and posting advice on a subject I don’t know first-hand seems to be exactly that.

As Bono puts it so eloquently, “It’s hard to listen when you preach.” (If you haven’t listened to the song Every Breaking Wave, I implore you to do so. It’s heartbreaking in the kind of way that makes you reevaluate where you are in life and with God, especially if your life isn’t in the best spot at the moment. I’ll link it here if you’re interested.) So instead of preaching at you about stuff I don’t personally relate to, I’ll stick with telling you about something that I’m actually learning right now. Long story short, here is a lesson that is personal to myself (as I hope you get something out of hearing about my journey with it to this point):

Living in the moment.

It’s a cliche expression that people overall have a tendency to use in order to justify bad decisions (in the realm of YOLO, except no one really says that anymore…I hope), but I have to constantly remind myself that this right now is my life. It’s happening as we speak. It’s happening as I’m sitting in my bed at 1 a.m. writing this. Every second, every breath, all of it is happening in real-time. And it seems so obvious when it’s written out in front of me, but for all of us detail-oriented/future-thinking/keep-moving-forward thinkers, it’s often a challenge to take a step back and realize that life isn’t going to start in three years. It won’t start when I reach a specific goal or accomplish something important. Life started, in my case, 21 years ago and it’s not going to stop until my last breath.

Goals are great, they keep us motivated, but it’s best to maintain a healthy balance in all things and not wish your life away (thank you, mom, for teaching me that lesson…it only took about a decade for it to sink in).

I love certain aspects of my current position, and I’m not as fond of other parts. Yes this is, admittedly, a particularly challenging time of my life, but no matter what stage I’m in there will always be plenty of both positives and negatives – good parts, bad parts, and stuff to look forward to.

So I’ll make the best of right now, while not completely losing sight of the future. I can make right now just as important as tomorrow.

I can appreciate the good in every moment – not just the highlights yet to come.

And that’s what I’m currently in the process of learning. It’s still a process, I’ve faltered and will inevitably do so again, but I’m making progress everyday as I remind myself that every second is equally important to the next.

So this is less about giving advice from the perspective that I have already reached the metaphorical finish line – that I’ve learned the lesson to it’s fullest extent, I’m a finished product, it’s not a challenge for me anymore. Of course it’s still a challenge. I’m a work in progress, and always will be. But I am progressing, and that’s what is important!

I’m not good at telling people what to do because that’s just not my personality, but mostly I personally think there are way too many people out there who are telling everyone else what to do without admitting any personal fault. So I’m saying that I am just as flawed as the next person, but this is what I am learning right now and I hope someone else can benefit from hearing about it. That’s what I can offer, in good conscience.

 

 

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